Off Day

So, my Note from the Universe today said this:

If you but soak up the sunlight you are given, drink each drop of water I send, and strive only to be yourself, life shall quicken in your roots, spirit shall raise you into the light, and your bloom will inspire the world.

I definitely did not "soak up the sunlight" or "inspire the world" yesterday. On the contrary, I actually went to bed last night thinking "bleck... I am glad today is over." I am a very even-tempered person and yesterday I was just in a bad mood. The fact that Milo had a totally off day may have contributed to my mood a bit. He woke up crying and screaming and throwing things and proceeded to cry and scream and throw things throughout the day. When it finally came time for his nap I thought, "Ah, finally, some rest and relaxation." He had other plans - which did not include a nap but did include him yelling and and kicking the wall for a good 2 hours.

When I finally gave up and got him up I was in an even worse mood. I was annoyed that I did not get any down time. To top it off I then had to do laundry, clean the kitchen, straighten the house, pick up a bazillion little toys that had been thrown all over the house for the umpteenth time , blah, blah, blah. Ultimately, I wanted to lay on the couch and rest for a little while and life got in the way. How is if possible to feel both selfish and childish at the same moment that you are reciting in your mind all the ways you are being put upon?

Oh, how are minds can be our downfall... Some of the things my mind did not take into consideration yesterday include the fact that Milo was probably going stir crazy from not being able to go outside for a week because of the cold weather and if I had tried a little harder with him instead of plopping him down in front of the TV when he got really worked up he might have come out of his funk. Also, my mind did not consider that all I had to do was wash the dishes, do the laundry and pick up toys in preparation for the housekeeper to come today. Because seriously, how great is that? My mind definitely did not consider how fortunate I was to be in the warm house with my husband and my child whom I love and who can bring me such joy.

It was not that kind of day. It was not a joy day. There were moments of joy though. Sitting at breakfast, eating pancakes and holding hands with Mark while we corralled Milo between our two chairs. Listening to Mark make Milo laugh that crazy toddler laugh at dinner last night while eating green beans. Milo asking if he could kiss my ouchie better and then blowing on it with puckered lips. Moments of joy amid a sea of grouchiness.

So today I have a renewed motivation to focus less on being "put upon" and more on being blessed. I try to change my Quote of the Week at the beginning of each week as a way of showing what I am thinking about or going through at the time. I have left the current quote there for a few weeks now though because it summarizes my ongoing struggle of late. For me it truly is a journey. I must choose peace each moment and some moments I do better than others.
Happy Monday to all. May you choose peace this week.